Hey girl, lets talk !

Hi Girls ,

Well, 10.36 pm in the night is not a perfect time to talk to girls but we haven’t talked much over the last 23 years of my life, have we?

First Let me make clear what bunch I am talking to. Girls= Girls. Exclude mothers and grandmothers and grand grandmothers and...I think anyone higher would be dead by now. Right so girls=girls. If you still are confused about what I mean by girls, its ok. Girls are supposed to be a little dumb.

My earliest memory of your clan- my elder sister pulls my hair. Painful. Digs her nails in my cheek. Painful. And then runs to mummy to complain that I hit her. Not a perfect start.

I went to a school. We were small and carried water bottles and small bags and crayon boxes. You girls colored silly color books. You did not shout much. You did not spill food while eating. You played stupid games during the games period where you became a mother and someone became your daughter and someone became your mother.
By class 2nd, I had formed a mental banner which declared in a glowing and blinking neon sign - GIRLS ARE STUPID AND BORING. School progressed. Class 6th.Class 10th.

The font size in the neon sign kept getting bigger and bigger. You people never took any interest in me. And I was equally indifferent and snooty about you people. I was of the back benchers gang. I was not too good in studies. I was a regular at being thrown out of class. I was the guy girls should not talk to. You people stayed with the boys who wore clean clothes, combed their hair, shared their tiffins with you, spoke softly, took notes and did well in studies. The neon sign crossed all limit when I went on to slap girls ..ask Arunima !! I think in her whole life I was only guy other than her mother who would have dared that. Rajdeep sardesai r u reading my blogs? I have slapped one of your current journalist....can u make a news headline of this blog???

College. First day “Just a bit of rudeness, more correctly shyness from, typical gujju girl and I walk upto her and ask her to come. She does not care to reply and looks away. I lean in and growl "Bench...”. You may be pretty. Guys may swallow a lizard if u orders them to. But I have 0% interest in you and your friends here. You understand how much is 1 - 1. It's 0. That’s the interest I have in girls. Some rubbish wants you, not me. So just move."

Through those years of college, most from your clan saw me and mumbled "MCP" under their breath. MCP stands for Male Chauvinistic Pig. All the hormonal developments were on track. I was not gay.

The appearances of girls definitely changed in college. You know what, please do not use too much of make up. Then your face looks like you have been sleeping in a paint tumbler and your mouth looks like you have eaten 3 bars of lipsticks. Chandni Rajgor r u reading?? And please think about those long earrings which hang like earthworms from your ears. They look wierd. And make you look weirder. Purva r u awake?? And Vaibhavi you do not need to let your hair loose all the time. I know that you have shampoo your hair and you look pretty good in hanging hairs but they cover your ears. If you tie your hair up you can actually hear well. And all that hair keeps falling in the plates around when you eat. Please consider tieing it up. Its hygienic and your tubelight will glow properly.

Anyways, that was the way it was till 'she' breezed into my life.

She had a sense of humor. She had similar thoughts. She was mature. She was responsible. She was silly. She was simple. She was very human. For the first time, I sensed that girls have a "lipsticks-n-eyeliner" free brain. That they think of something beyond that. That they are as good human beings as anyone. Every tear I have caused her has left a streak on my heart. I thank the guy whom she is with now. He did not give her much time to feel hurt and alone.

Thinking more calmly and having more girls as friends have helped realize some of you are mature. Some of you think deeply, think good thoughts and are really sensitive and introspective. Some girls are really good human beings. All in all, you people are not so stupid as I thought. You dont have the IQ of a cheese burger. You people are as mature as any human being and probably a lot more sensitive than guys.

And know what the best part about being a girl is? You will be a mother some day. However stupid and stubborn and irritating you may be right now, being a mother is being capable of some kind of divine love, of being closer to god. One day you are going to create life and nurture it with such unconditional care which makes you all the more respectable.

But some things about you people still beat me. Firstly, why do you people give so much importance to the way you look? If you think every guy looks at you when you go down a street, catch the next lift down and come down to earth. Tom Cruise doesnt care about how you look. Hrithik Roshan doesn’t care about how you look. Your dad doesnt care about how you look. And any sensible guy won’t care about how you look. And if someone is attracted by your looks, he can only desire you, not love you.
Another thing. If I end up talking to you for anything over eight minutes, don’t assume I am flirting with you. Being a girl or a guy is not so important. Please behave like a normal homo sapien. I hate being branded a girl chaser. Because I hate to be one.

I have always been an outsider in your world. The brat never too close. And after causing hurt to 'her', I intend to stay away from your world for a long long time to come. After all, I was hurt too. I am plain scared to meddle in your world now. I am plain scared of again causing a lot of tears and hence have resolved to stay at a safe yet friendly distance from your domain. If earlier it was snobbish indifference, now it is a peaceful and quiet lack of interest.

Anyways, it was good talking to you. I will take your leave and sleep. And one last thing. If you drive anything more than a bicycle, please do not. Its sin to kill innocent walking on the street, people not belonging to the Al-Qaeda. But if you have to drive, atleast keep a First Aid box handy. That was it.

Note: The girls whose name I have included are few of my good friends contrary one might think from my blog!

This is a tribute to all my female friends on occasion of the Woman’s day!!!!